that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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