But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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