hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
