do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
