doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
