i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
