I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
