party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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