I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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