I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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