Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
