at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I have post one night stand depression
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
