she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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