You don't have asthma, your pregnant
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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