But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize