At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
