is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
