Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
