If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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