At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
