i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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