that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
