oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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