Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
