the condom got lost in my hair
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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