Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
