Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
