Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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