Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
