My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
