i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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