On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
