Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
