Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
