I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize