just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
