hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
