Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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