ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
