i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
