thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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