I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
