I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
