When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
