Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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