Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize