Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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