So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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