So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
