I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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