you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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