hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize