youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
