Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I have tasted many bathrooms
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
