Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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