if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
