All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
