Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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