So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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